one day
by minachandler
Summary: Set at the end of 3x07. Barry finds himself telling Iris about the article that is no longer written by Iris West-Allen, and Iris finds herself delivering some home truths.


"God, I've missed you," Barry murmurs to her after they surface from another lovely long kiss. They're on Iris's couch, and Iris is straddling Barry's lap, knees locking him into place.

"I've missed you too," Iris says softly. "I mean - it's not like we've been apart much, exactly -"

"Just - we haven't been alone?"

Iris nods. "Yeah. And I like being alone with you. Having you to myself."

There's something, even now - a while into their relationship - about the candour in Iris's words that makes Barry's heart beat just a little bit faster, makes him smile for just a second longer.

Still, it's with a grimace that he says, "I'm not sure the team would exactly object to that right now. Especially Cisco."

"He'll come round," she tells him.

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because," Iris says firmly, "Cisco is just hurting right now. It'll come to him eventually - that Dante's death isn't on you, that maybe what you changed would have happened anyway, with or without Flashpoint."

Instantly all Barry can think of is that article, now written by Julie Greer, whoever that is. "I don't know about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Barry sighs. "Do you remember when Eobard Thawne kidnapped Eddie?"

Now it's Iris's turn to grimace, and she moves off him, a faraway look on her face as she hugs her knees. "How could I forget?"

"He showed Eddie that article. Written by you. Future you."

Iris nods. "Yeah. Iris West-Allen. God, it still sounds weird saying it out loud."

"The article… it still shows in Thawne's lab. I went there today -"

'Why?" she interrupts.

"I was getting restless not being able to do anything for Wally and I figured - Thawne was the one who helped me get fast enough to stop Zoom. Maybe something in his speed equation could help me beat Savitar. Anyway - I found that article and I - saw that things were different."

"Different how?"

"The article about me going missing in 2024 - it wasn't written by you. It was written by someone else."

Iris's eyes widen. "But what does that mean?"

"I don't know. But what I do know is that maybe - in creating Flashpoint - I didn't just screw up my friends' lives in the present. I may have changed things for us too. In the future."

"Barry…"

"I mean, even back then when I found out we were married in the future it was mostly just wishful thinking," Barry says."But I don't know. Part of me always hoped… and now… I just don't know."

He's surprised, somewhat, when Iris reaches up, takes his face into her hands and makes him look her in the eyes. "Hey," she says softly. "I get that you feel like you're to blame, but you can't keep beating yourself up about Flashpoint. It's going to tear you apart."

Barry chuckles lightly. "Funny. You said the same thing when I lost my dad."

"I did?"

"On the porch."

"Ah," she says, nodding in understanding. "Well, I was right in that timeline too, Bear."

"You usually are," Barry says sincerely.

"Look, do you want to know what I said to Eddie when he told me about this? Because - he broke up with me over it, Barry."

That surprises him. "He did?"

"He said that since the beginning there were three people in our relationship. And… maybe he was right. But what I told him still stands."

"And what was that?"

"That I choose my own future. Barry, I told you. You're not God. You're not responsible for everything the way you think you are. And if someone else wrote that article, that - that doesn't mean anything."

"I feel like it does."

"Barry, the future doesn't depend entirely on your actions. And my future - _our_ future - definitely doesn't. I choose who I love, Barry, and who I want to be with. And I _chose_ to be with you. Not because our relationship is destined to be what Eobard Thawne said it would be but because I care about you and I - I told you. It's you that I see a future with. So, please, don't let something like this get to you."

"It already has," Barry says helplessly.

Iris lifts her hand and strokes his cheek. "You know, I wish with all my heart that you would stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, Barry. Because you don't know what's going to happen in the future. No one does."

"I don't want to mess this up, Iris."

"And I can't promise that you won't - or that I won't. But all I know is - how I feel about you."

"What about what you said to me? You said we were meant to be together. But now the very thing that told you that is saying something different -"

"Barry, I'm not just with you because of some article," Iris says in frustration. "Or because we just happen to be married on earth-2."

"Then why?" Barry says, and he knows he's pushing it, now, and so does Iris, by the look on her face.

The words that don't need to be spoken hang in the air between them, palpable, and Iris places her hand on his chest. "You know why." Then, after hesitating only for a moment, she says, "I want to be with you, here and now."

"And what about the future?"

"The future can wait," Iris tells him firmly. "At the moment we have enough to think about with right now."

"You mean in case Caitlin tries to stab me in the other leg?" Barry says, and his tone is light but there's no mistaking the bitterness in his voice.

"There's that. But, uh, I was more thinking about what Wally's going to be like now he's a speedster like you."

"He seemed over the moon about it, to be honest."

"And that's my problem," says Iris, catching Barry's hand in her own. "He doesn't seem to realise how dangerous it could be for him."

"I'll talk to him," Barry offers. Iris smiles, leans in and kisses him gently.

"Thank you. See. This is what I mean. You have your hands full with the present. You need to move on from the past and realise the future isn't set in stone, either. Things change."

"I get it," he says, nodding. "Thank you."

"You never, ever have to thank me," Iris tells him, and he smiles, wanting so badly in that moment to tell her he loves her.

"How did I get to be so lucky?" he says instead, sighing in wonder, and he can taste Iris's smile when he kisses her, his fingers entwining with hers.

"I wonder the same thing every day," Iris admits when at last they come up for air.

"You don't have to say that," Barry says instantly.

Iris raises her eyebrows. "I know I don't. I don't _have_ to say anything. I am lucky. To have you."

"Even after everything that I've done?" Barry says, and it's only now that he realises his voice has become a whisper.

"You're still a good person, Bear," she tells him earnestly. "Any mistakes you've made doesn't make you any less of a hero. You know that, right?"

"I just… don't feel like much of a hero right now," says Barry.

"You are. Whatever happens, you'll always be my hero, Flash."

And this time, when he buries his face into her neck, he can't stop himself murmuring the words _I love you_ into her skin - a silent, whispered prayer mouthed against her collarbone.

One day, he thinks, as she encloses him in her arms, and one day soon, too (in this timeline, preferably), he'll tell her he loves her for real. And one day, if he's lucky, she'll tell him she loves him too, and maybe, just maybe, he'll feel like he deserves it.


End file.
